Wednesday, May 28, 2008

the afflicted condition

it is interesting reading contentment (yes, i am still plowing through it, it is tiny print and you can't read more than 10 pages a sitting b/c you are overwhelmed with how far away from true thinking you daily are) because burroughs talks about how christians generally live in an afflicted condition. it is scary how foreign this is from the present mentality of many branches of the church. there is, of course, a spectrum and i am not suggesting that we are living out a health and wealth gospel; well, not blatantly. but inside my heart i want things. there is no area of my life that is immune from desiring.

obviously, we are created for desire and the ultimate end of that desire is Christ. but burroughs distinguishes desiring after things and enjoying them as they come with the "dew of God's blessing". that term is one he often employs in the book and it is really refreshing to me. that we should only enjoy/love things (or people, jobs, weights, emotions...) as they are given to us by a loving God. that we love God in them, not inherently per se, but His dew of blessing that is on them. the essential point being that if they were taken away, we should say, "that seems hard to lose, but if God will make it up to me with more of Himself, i will be okay". it is disastrous how little i feel i could respond that way. for one, i am always subconsciuosly bargaining with God. if that thing becomes mine, i will honor you with it and what fun for me it would be. for another, i scarce believe i would be satisfied with God alone. did i write that? it is hard to utter, but is sadly a true fear. BUT, is it not when we are brought low that God seems nearest? in my experience this is true and i believe that scripture would back it quite well. it is like the hymn "i asked the Lord". reading this book is like singing that song again and again. deliriously frightful and incomparably comforting all at once.

soon i will be almost thirty. some of my friends are coming this weekend and i am jazzed about that. my children are getting old and have made friends here, praise God. reading knox's history of the reformation in the realm of scotland. it is fun to read about my son's namesake. it is not fun to read about this horrifying time in the church's history, i cannot believe some of the things i am reading, i mean i was familiar with the selling of indulgences (which is very appalling, indeed), but papal orgies? whoa. but i really love ireland and scotland and am learning things, like geography and history. you know, things i managed not to learn with a 4.0 in advanced classes from norman public schools. not blaming them, it could have been me?!?!

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

home sweet home

well, we are finally getting settled in down here in texas. i think i am really going to enjoy fort worth. norman is essentially my first love, but fort worth is shaping up pretty well. i finally have all of the boxes either unpacked or shoved out to the garage until their contents become necessary or desirable. mostly those boxes contain decorative items that i am not utilizing at present b/c i am unmotivated and can't paint all at once. so, our h0me looks pretty plain right now, but praise God, it is our home and i have been able to revive the other domestic capacities which have lain dormant in these past seven or so months. except the cleaning part which was more alive than it has ever been, while we were having to stay "show ready" during the selling phase of the old house. but cooking has been such an enjoyment. last nite i made these honey yeast rolls, from scratch mind you, and they were literally the best rolls i have ever enjoyed. and people, if you haven't ever had sister schubert rolls slathered in butter, than you are missing a chapter in your life. but, these easily rivaled and just barely surpassed even sister schubert's delicacies. we had a couple over from fort worth pres and they also enjoyed the rolls. if this sounds appealing, email me and i will be happy to send you the recipe, it is from southern living.

wade has been travelling a lot (i am pretty sure brits spell that word with two l's and if they don't someone should because it looks so much better that way) and while this amount of travel and length of travel isn't typical it has all come at once. that is a bugger b/c i would really like to have him around now that we live in the same town again! last week when he was gone karla graciously visited me. it was such fun, the children were ecstatic to have her and knox was taken with her, which says something of the little fickle freddy. she came down to visit and to work on norah catherine's room. i had a picture from a magazine and she very talentedley (is a word) began the foundation for a very cute room. she drew the flowers and painted some and left the drawn flowers for me to paint. that will probably not happen too quickly! but it looks great and norah catherine loves it and is excited for when it will be all together. really her room and the dining room are the only two rooms we have worked on much. the dining room is my baby. i love the color (thanks for your expertise, kara) and it will all revolve around this painting i bought just before we moved. i absolutely love this painting and i can't wait to get it on the dining room wall. i call the painting "eleanor" and she is my muse for the whole house. you won't be able to really appreciate it in the pic but i am posting it anyhow. these pics are from nc's room and the dining room.