Thursday, December 18, 2008

all hairdryers go to heaven

yesterday my hairdryer died. well, it was slightly murdered, but in some senses it was only a matter of time. norah catherine was guilty, but i guess it was more or less not premeditated. and kind of an accident. but, when something that close to you dies, you want to blame someone.

why is my hairdryer that close to me?

well, some of you might know this, but for those that don't, i love hairdryers. not for my hair so much, but for my body. ever since i can remember i have taken deep comfort in the sound and warmth of a hairdryer. i have few childhood memories, but two pertinent memories are of this sound/warmth connection. i remember being in sweet bliss when my mom would vacuum. i would run to the couch with a blanket, cover all up (except my head, people who cover their heads in blanket are freakish (sorry husband)) and fall asleep to the sweet melody of the vacuum. the other glorious memory is that of feeling cold or tired or just needing comfort and going to the kitchen to lie down at the bottom of the fridge. the little vent at the bottom shot out warm air and my mom would work around me in the kitchen while i fell asleep there on the ground in sweet warm joy; and the quieter, steady hum was also pleasant, though one prefers it a tad louder.

my parents told me some information that is perhaps linked to this habit, and if nothing else provides a scapegoat for it. when i was a baby and i would cry, they would put a vacuum outside of my door (after they had checked that i was dry and fed) and it would soothe me to sleep; allegedly. i have wondered if it was more soothing to me initially or really the soothing was theirs to have since it allowed them to not hear my crying. not that i am to judge, because for whatever purpose it was meant, i am now the recipient of this wonderful joy. i also found it pure delight when my mom would blow dry my hair, which was not often b/c she liked me to go outside and let the sun dry it. sitting with my mom and feeling the warmth of the dryer and the sound of it, it was so good, a simple thing. which is to say that i also profoundly enjoy fires and space heaters, but the sound quality is slightly lacking.

in elementary school i began to take our hairdryer into my room and fall asleep with it blowing on me. i started to get into trouble for that, what with the danger of fire and all. but i couldn't stop. i would wait until i knew my parents were asleep and then do it. oftentimes i awakened and had weepy blisters on my back or bum. over the years i have learned a good methodology for sleeping with the hairdryer and haven't burned myself since high school. and, i have never caught anything on actual fire, though i have seen a lot of sparks.

in college, i cut down quite a bit because living with others i realized not everyone thought fire hazards a thing with which to play. but still, the weekly afternoon spent reading a book cuddled up with the dryer was irresistible. it was in college that wade and i met, and the dryer thing was beyond tolerance for him. it still is. yet it is a part of me and brings me strange, but not sinful, enjoyment. i try to be considerate (and wise, i guess) and do not keep it on through the nite. but i do take naps with it and i love to turn it on as i get in bed and read and then again when i wake up in the morning. wade says it is the worst sound in the world, a cacophony, perhaps the reason for which that word was created! i think that is a bit harsh, but one man's music is another man's screaming. he actually has a cute little nickname for it, the scream machine.

the most interesting twist in the hairdryer saga, however, is the unrecruited love that my daughter has developed for it. she will come to our room in the morning, climb in bed and say (if it is not already on), "hairdryer, mommy!". i comply joyfully and we find methods to make it work for two. just yesterday, she was in our room for rest time (we had ava and ava was resting in her room) and she ran to find me and said, "mommy the hairdryer is red inside and smells like burning". rightfully alarmed, i ran into my room and found it dead. it is my fault ultimately, because i have not taught her the first rule of dryer operation; you cannot cover the back of it or it will smell most odiously, shoot sparks, and overheat (hopefully before it has caught something on fire). also, i had a chat with her about operating it without my knowing, and i think she really regretted the whole scene. we tried to let it rest and plug it for another go, but it really has expired.

so wish me luck at target today as i find a replacement.

5 Comments:

Blogger April said...

This...is a stunning bit of information.
That's all I've got.

12:23 PM  
Blogger courtney jewett said...

you're cute, april. :)

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Wade said...

Well, as a blog is a forum, I thought I'd weigh in here. A few quick things:

1. If you have to defend yourself by saying, "...I haven't caught anything on fire yet," you might want to re-consider said practice.

2. Sometimes when we forget the hairdryer on vacations, etc... Courtney will ask me to help replicate the sound by yelling as loud as I can into her ear until she goes to sleep. Think the sound the guy makes in the van ("do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?") in Dumb and Dumber.

3. The dreaded rival of the hairdryer is the space heater. It spent some time vying for Courtney's affection in past years, as well. It is just as great a fire hazard, and has not been around for quite a while, thankfully.

4. There are few certainties in parenting, but this is one: my daughter will NEVER have one of these awful contraptions in her bedroom. ever.

6:31 AM  
Blogger Cowtown Vintage said...

Wow. I've learned such interesting things about you this week! Let me just say that I hate to hear about your hair-dryer obsession. The reason is this: I've just recently discovered you and plan on us being close friends. I wouldn't be very happy if this happens, only to find out you've burned to death in a hair dryer fire accident. Just putting it out there. Have you tried a ceramic heater? I'm sure it's not the same, but maybe you could adjust to it, over time? Then again, I'm not going to stop standing on rickety chairs to reach high things, so I can't say a whole lot. We all have our dangerous habits...

Kim

12:43 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

I had to comment on this, as I was checking up on you and how you are.

I TOTALLY REMEMBER YOUR HAIRDRYER OBSESSION. You tried to enlighten me to the glories of the hairdryer you had, and the comfort it brought to you. I would have totally forgotten this had I not checked your blog. I thought all memories of the past were blurring and this one has shone through!

How this relates to me:

My husband Chad is completely obsessed with his sleep machine. I am sure you know about these sound makers that lull people to sleep. He goes nowhere with out one by his side. Aside from the lack of heat, these are maybe something to look (or listen) into for safety reasons. I found one that dated back from the eighties on ebay that was able to layer several sounds ( train tracks, country night) and he fell in love. He can't wait to come home from touring and sleep next to the "big daddy" of sleep machines. It's his comfort as well.

Let me know if you need the make and model:)

I hope all is well with you dear, and congratulations on you newest blessing!

Love,
Em

7:31 PM  

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