Thursday, April 26, 2007

nothing really specific

my sweet little knox, only days before he would be struck down with all of this terrible sickness thanks to the two germ factories who are constantly "playing" with him, which really means they are terrorizing them with their nasty germs hands and coughs.
well, it has been hellish week and a half around here. we have all been very sick with throat stuff and snot and pinkeye (well, wade eluded this part). just taking turns having the nasties. poor knox, he is suffering through it now. the first three days of this week consisted of me dragging three semi-sick children around to the Cleveland County Health Department where we had essentially been subpoenaed to be tested for Tuberculosis, since my dad's new wife apparently has this horrible diesease. and it is highly contagious. but we do not have it, we actually haven't even seen her enough to require a test but, children under five are always considered high risk and therefore must be tested. i could write a whole blog about all of the emotional distress this has brought to me, but i am not going to. or at least not right now. because then i would have to openly admit how scary i was to the incompetent TB nurse. let's just say that at one point she was offering the health department's counseling services to me for my "anger issues".
tomorrow we will attend my great-grandmother's funeral. she was ninety-six and ready to be done. a tough old bird, that lady. her mental state was always pretty good, with occasional lacking of clarity. about a week ago she had a stroke and then could no longer talk really. she kept trying to say something, and my nana struggled to understand it. finally my nana said, "mother, just say one word. just say the first word, don't try to say the whole thing." so my geese (we have always called her geese, i am not sure why) looked at her daughter and said, "B...U...T...T". that pretty much sums up her fiery personality. it must be genetic, just ask rita the TB nurse.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

So Easter was great this year. Many thanks to the Lord for such a contemplative Easter. In some ways having children has really minimized the time I have to spend in God's word. In other ways it has caused me to get creative and to do things differently than I would were it just my devotional time. Sharing some of this time with the children is at times frustrating because they are so young and so outnumber me. But very often I see that glimmer of a creature learning about his Creator and being awestruck. I think following the readings from the Book of Common Prayer in preparation for Easter with the children was very helpful for me. Each day it engendered a focus on Christ's passion that I could maintain and draw from. We fasted at some point, only for 24 hours and it definitely compelled one to the suffering for Christ. I know that people do this for up to 40 days and that 24 hours without food should surely be bearable, but it was very unpleasant. I also realize that the point is not that it should be a pleasantry, rather it should cause us to rely outside of ourselves and onto Him. Yet still, I had no idea how hard this short period would be for a spoiled stomach as mine. I know Wade felt similarly. I had no idea how much I depend upon food for energy to take care of three children! One surprising thing is that I was not irritable. If by chance I go without food for a longer than usual period, I am pretty irritable. I felt pretty lethargic and very introspective. I realize that the Bible says not to talk about when you are fasting and I think that it means (open to correction here) that as you are actually fasting do not go around moaning about how hungry (if not holy) you are! Perhaps a retrospective detailing is different? If not, then we shall call it a health fast and not a spiritual one; although now I deem the two indivisible. (with liberty and justice for all? sorry, irresistible).

All of this preparation really whetted my appetite for the service Friday nite at the train depot. Many thanks to Doug and the RUF musicians and the behind the sceners for organizing and creating this service. It was indeed worshipful. It was magnificently an appropriate impetus to worship the risen King. The flow was seamless. The order of the liturgy was perfect. The music was just intoxicating and inspired worship. All of the aesthetics were gloriously pointing to the beauty of the Gospel. The various readers were outstanding. At times such a thing might seem strange to compliment. It is not as though they were great because they annunciated well or augmented with dramatics. But having the varying voices and relationships enhanced the worship and gave vision to the global gospel. Every tribe, etc. Hearing Sam's awesome English accent and Somaria's beautifully enchanting accent and watching Collin read just before Meghan's solo...the outlandish variety of God's people and His causing us to love each other. His indwelling Spirit that beckons brotherly love to bind His church together. Holding Whit dead asleep and sitting to sing whilst the body stood around me worshipping her faithful King; my skin was raw with goosebumps that I am sure can be shoved aside with talk of emotionalism. It was a watershed climax to an anticipative week, full of dread of death and joy of redemption.