Tuesday, February 27, 2007

the classic middle name

so i am starting to research sufjan songs. as much as one can, i guess. i started with an easy one. john wayne gacy, jr. so i really didn't know much about this serial killer. apparently he was pretty crazy. or he wasn't and that is what is scary. i learned some stuff that i didn't really enjoy reading about, though some of it was pretty interesting. i won't post about it extensively because i am sure most people know all about him. i usually prefer to pretend like that stuff doesn't really happen, especially when it includes children or animals. this is hard to do when you are a Christian and you read the Bible. at least i can not watch the news, right? (i bet i sound pretty educated right now). anywho...the main thing i was hoping to address was the end of the song when sufjan says something intensely profound and life-changing. but then i decided to wait on that because this was pretty apropos:

"The newspaper column, "News of the Weird," has reported so many (over 150 in 2005) stories of convicted murderers whose middle name is Wayne, it is sometimes known as "The Classic Middle Name." At 33 murders, John Wayne Gacy is the most murderous of all the Waynes. " (wikipedia)


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

not so much

yeah, that whole standoff thing didn't really pan out. seems knox wasn't onboard with it. that's okay. i am calmer now about his growing b/c i thought he hadn't grown since his two month check, but then when i looked at his papers from that visit, he had actually grown two pounds. that made me feel much better, although three weeks ago when he was ill he weighed the same as he does now. so that is still a bit worrisome. we are just breastfeeding, offering a bottle with milk, a cup with milk, and giving him solids. i even tried to give this kid a cup with APPLE JUICE in it, my other children did not receive apple juice until they were like two b/c i was convinced it would make them fat, give them cancer, and make them turn their backs on Jesus. i still partially feel this way and was secretly glad when he refused even this. breastmilk must be like cotton candy, there is really nothing better.

he is loving the solid foods. when whit was a baby i made his baby food and in my heart i judged people who gave jar baby food to their babies. with norah catherine i made half of her food and gave her jar food for the other half. with knox, well, the only food i have made him is when the jar kind doesnt make an organic version (or any version) of it, like avocadoes. he was really all about the avacadoes as you can see in the picture. i think it looked disgusting.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

the standoff or the weird art of breastfeeding or my favorite: a requiem for breasfeeding

well folks, the breastfeeding needs to come to an end. pray for us as we are about to begin a standoff with master knox. for varying reasons i need to wean knox. i was going to go into the whole crazy journey, including the past breastfeeding histories of my other children and then i thought: who really cares besides other moms who are fascinated with the crazy inconsistencies of this mom stuff? but i would like to enlist prayer and any suggestions from people. the undetailed reasons are 1) knox is no longer benefitting nutritionally from my breastmilk 2) if breastfeeding is an option, he will not take any other means of liquid nutrition 3) weaning is going to be hard for both of us emotionally and i think the sooner, the better since reasons 1 and 2 are pertinent. i have used a homemade formula with my other children that mimics breastmilk and is comparable to breastmilk, and in cases such as this is actually better than breastmilk and will help him to grow since he has stopped doing that.

there are two types of breastfed babies; well, i have nursed two different kinds, so there are at least two. ones that have had breast and when offered a bottle dont see how it is different and are content with that (whit and norah catherine). the whole emotionally nurturing stuff just was not exclusive to or perhaps even existent with breastfeeding for either of them. then, there are babies who look at you like you just tried to stab their eyes out with a blunt object when you put a paci, bottle, etc near their mouths. they then proceed to scream and bounce their heads off of your feeding area until you acquiesce. this is really terrible. a month ago when i began trying this, it was annoying, but i was only really trying it to have a break occasionally and so wade could feed him. not so much. but now, one month later, facing the knowledge that his weight gain is stagnating and solids are not yet a large part of his culinary reportoire...well his refusal is downright maddening. i am very sad to give this up, if you know anything of my former relationship to breastfeeding, you will think this is crazy talk. but, i really love nursing knox. i have enjoyed it and i perish the thought that it is no longer sufficient. if he would do both bottle and breast, we could keep doing it, but in the words of more seasoned veterans "if he is hungry enough he will take it" and i know he is getting just enough to not lose weight and to not feel hungry, but not enough to grow adequately. that it has come to this i regret, but i have to do what i think is best for him and best for him will make him grow. so, God help us as we enter a very sad season. hopefully a short one, too.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Overheard in our kitchen Thursday night

A guy Courtney dated in high school has become a recording artist (using loose terms here)and is playing the South by Southwest festival in Austin this spring. We wasted a really good amount of time looking at his myspace and amusing ourselves with the idea that this guy could be on the radio sometime soon. This is the conversation that followed while putting up the dishes...

"I mean, I can't believe he will be on my radio, that's crazy to me."

"Well, if he's playing South by Southwest, someone may hear him and put him on the radio. His stuff's poppy enough to make it."

"No, that's not right...he was a skinny basketball player. Skinny basketball players don't play music on the radio. I mean, he watches TV sideways and has body odor."

"Courtney, lots of people have body odor."

"Doesn't it seem like he's wasting his time?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't know...I mean he's 29, shouldn't he be married and having children?"

"Well he is married, so I guess he's halfway there."

"Yeah but doesn't the Bible say we should multiply and divide?"


"Please homeschool my children..."