on service

lately i have been thinking about serving. kirsten and i have been talking about this a lot, i think because we have been anticipating the official WIC (women in the church) beginning and what that will look like at christ the king. i have been trying to examine my heart with regard to serving. i think having whit and norah catherine so close together, though great in so many ways, has left me with a spot of whiplash. and now adding knox to the tribe! so blessed, but also so distracted. i think it should be a distraction, and even labeling it such is undermining to what it really is: a calling. however, i think in just feeling like i have been almost underwater for three years, i have viewed service primarily as serving my immediate family. i should serve my family, and they should be after God on the list, but i fear that my tendency to emphasize that has left me somewhat lazy or negligent as far as serving in other areas. over the past few years i can think of several church circumstances, or neighborly circumstances, or even extended family circumstances in which i thought later; oh, i could have made this phone call, or taken supper, or sent this note, or spoken these words, or joined that "committee", or uttered this prayer...of course, the other side of the pendulum must also be examined. one might have a tendency to over volunteer; be it for vainglory or merit or fear that if they do not take up the slack the church will suffer. regardless of motive, this excess must also be checked so that the immediate family or the primary calling doesnt suffer. and of course, the heart is deceitful and needs constant examination. so, i guess in closing, examine your gifts, your time, your failings and serve the bride selflessly; for some that means spend more time ministering to the church and for some it perhaps means do less.