ringbearer for rent

shawnda and uncle frank
the "first" dance
the ringbearer, master whitney

now, if anyone is looking for a ringbearer for their wedding, know this: whit walked down the aisle sans help, stunningly pulled off a silver tux with hot pink vest and tie (which, yes, should be impossible and/or illegal), and was perfectly willing to dance at the reception and woo all of the bluehairs. this last feat however, was not atttempted b/c the bride and groom were the only people on the dance floor whilst the sober guests (uh, yes this was a "dry" wedding officially, but who says no to bride with a brown paper bag clutched in her hot pink acrylic nails? well, you and i, but not her bridesmaids/coworkers/60 year old ex-roomate/uncle frank with no teeth) pretended not to see the pornographic colliding of worlds that was i guess called the first dance. i assure you this is only called the "first" dance by means of custom and not validity. the bride is, after all, a dancer by profession.

well, there could be more said, but probably i should spare the babble. just thought some fun wedding pics might be enjoyed by others. i will end by adding that the bride, my stepmother, was not pleased with the photography (that was my job at the wedding). she told my dad this about the pictures:

"i look f***ed up in the pictures"

"well honey, you were f***ed up"

"yes, but i dont remember being that f***ed up"

hmm, you dont say.